Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

3 generations.jpg
Sandwich generation.jpg

When it comes to determining what care is appropriate for an elderly loved one there are many options as well as many things to consider. It is important that the decision maker (most often an adult child of the elderly) get familiar with and explore those options that are available well before the needs arise.

Most often we hear from a son or daughter of an elderly parent that is having what is called “caregiver breakdown”. Whether that occurs while the adult child is caring for a parent in their own home, or is visiting in a facility where their parent was placed and now it is apparent that the care does not meet the expectations. Often the question arises, “Can my mom or dad handle another transition?”


None of these elderly ever want to leave their own home or make another move; can you just imagine how scary it could be at such a vulnerable time in their life, wondering if they will be cared for properly.


We often hear the adult child of these elderly admit, “I promised them I would never put them in a home”. 


Stress, frustration, guilt, exhaustion, sadness, irritability, confusion and loss of control – these are just some of the feelings these adult children experience when they do try to follow their parents’ wishes.


In all reality, sometimes keeping an elderly in their own home is not a safe option, especially if 24-hour care is not available. If a family member is residing in the home to be a full-time caregiver, sometimes that means the family member is not getting the proper care for themselves to be able to function and handle what issues lie ahead. If hired caregivers are brought into the home to help sometimes it can be very costly, much more than what other options could cost.


Sometimes finding a loving home that serves with compassion, respect, and dignity is providing the best care for your loved one. The elderly find great sadness in leaving their material familiarness behind and fearing the unfamiliar territory. It breaks our hearts when we think of that time that goes by as a new resident is being transported from their home to ours. We are always at the door to greet them, introduce them to their new friends and make them as comfortable as we can. We know it is scary for them no matter what physical and mental situation they are experiencing.


We truly believe at this time in their lives is when they need to be with those that have chosen to provide care to the elderly because that is what they were meant to do and to get accustomed to an atmosphere where they can be around others that are in the same point in their lives and if able, share stories and make new friends. We believe that being around others in a small atmosphere with a loving staff to provide care is absolutely adding quality to life not only for the elderly but also to their family. This is a time when their family can visit often while creating positive memories that will last forever instead of being exhausted by taking on the role of caregiver when it is becoming too difficult to do so.